Not that anyone was ASKING my opinion…

Clark: BROOOOOOOOOSE.

Bruce: oh my god clark seriously I am busy do you not see that? I have to devote 22 hours a day to crimefighting and billionairing and crying manfully alone in the dark okay.

Clark: BROOSE I KNOW

I

KNOW

Bruce: how did you know clark. HOW COULD YOU EVER KNOW THE DEPTH OF MY BATGONY?

Clark:Because I have sadvision. It is one of my Kryptonian powers. I can see all of your sads.

Bruce: batsob

Clark:BRUCE, I WILL CRADLE YOU AGAINST MY BULGING PECTORALS SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW WHAT A HUG FEELS LIKE. TAKE THIS KNOWLEDGE (AND ALL OF MY LOVING) AND HUG YOUR ROBINS.

Bruce: ALL of my Robins?

Clark: ALL OF THE ROBINS.

First rule of the field is never to use your real names, so my cellphone contacts are nicknamed after Disney characters. I’ve got soundbites from their relevant movies as their text notifications (ringtones are a whole other thing!).

• Damian is Simbaaaaaaaaa (“REMEMBER WHO YOU AAAAARE.”)
• Dick’s Tigger (“His bottom is made out of springs!”)
• Jason is Aladdin (“Rifraff. Street rat! I don’t buy that. If only they’d look closerrrr. Would they see a poor boy? No sirree.”)
• Cassandra is Ping (“Did they send me daughters, when I asked for soooons?”)
• Tim is Snow White (“Skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony.”)
• Kara is Princess Aurora (“Well, I’m really not supposed to speak to strangers, but we’ve met before.”)
• Babs is Maid Marian (“Oh, Robin, what a beautiful night.”)
• and Bruce is, of course, Mufasaaaaaaaaaa (“YOU DELIBERATELY DISOBEYED ME!”)